WORST PRESENT EVER

I think I'm supposed to feel all the complexities that a cheater may face in "The Unbearable Lightness of Being," and I suppose I could. But here, listen:

"To assuage Tereza's sufferings, [Tomas] married her...and gave her a puppy."

Which, I mean, sure, I like presents to alleviate 'suffering' as well, but Tomas is a cheating ass. Marriage sounds like a bad idea under these circumstances, but listen to the description of the dog: "A bitch whose body seemed reminiscent of the German shepherd and whose head belonged to its Saint Bernard mother." I think this may be the worst present ever, and the world's ugliest dog. Her name is Karenin, which if you remember, is actually Anna Karenina's husband. A bitch with a man name. All right. In case you're wondering, yes! Those are my amazing Photoshop skillz that combined two images together for your viewing pleasure.

Anyway, these are things that would happen if:

Then I would:

listening to:

Mr. Alladatshit

Kidz in the Hall

xoxo t