SASS IN THE SOUTHWEST

I love Southwest Airlines, not because I have to take a ridiculous commute on the Long Island Railroad to get there, and thusly makes me appreciate flying more, or the fact that I have to lug my luggage to the L train to get to Penn Station to get to the LIRR and gain arm muscle.

It's because the air stewards and stewardesses have major sass. Some key points on the five separate times I heard the instructional segments (I had many, many layovers.)

• In case of air cabin pressure changes.... make sure you put on your own mask first. Then proceed to help children out, or people who are acting like children, or your husbands.
• In case of air cabin pressure changes.... make sure you put on your own mask first. Then pick the child with the most potential....
• Follow the dirty blue carpet to safety.
• Whew! We made it! - pilot, on landing.
• Please be clever enough to put away your carry on bags where we can not see them, or pretend to be clever.
  

Southwest will begin flying to LaGuardia soon, and I feel like that might be closer than going all the way to Long Island. Yes! Also, they will start flying direct to Minneapolis soon, and in which case, my dream of stalking Slug from the hip hop group Atmosphere will def come true. Rapid Rewards Points, here I come!

PS I need a sassy book to read.

- t